NASSAU COUNTY, Fla. – Before Patrick McDowell’s attorneys made their final bid Thursday to convince a jury not to recommend the death penalty for their client, McDowell took the stand for the second time during his sentencing trial and read a statement, asking the jury not to show him mercy.
The prosecutor counted out the eight pages of what he prepped for Thursday – but said he didn’t know if he could do better than what McDowell said.
Just like when the defense started their case last Thursday – McDowell got on the stand most unexpectedly, and this time at least, against the advice of his lawyers.
McDowell admitted that reading the statement (full transcript below) was against his attorney’s advice but said it was something he needed to do.
“First I want to say to Deputy Moyers’ loved ones and fellow officers, I’m sorry for what I’ve taken from you. I wish more than anything I could bring him back, and if my death could have done it, I would have made that trade years ago, and we wouldn’t be here today.
This is not a plea for sympathy or for my life, so bear with me, please.
This is a statement of truth because I believe I owe it to all you people that I’ve hurt.
You can’t get back what I’ve taken, but I can try to help you understand why this happened and help you get the justice you deserve.
I’ve listened to everyone try to make sense of what I did, explain it away and blame it on anything but me and my selfish disregard for that man’s life. It’s made me sick to think of letting others speak for me without doing the right thing and speaking to all of you like this myself.
I killed a hero, a deputy who was doing his job and doing it so well that he took one look at me and knew I was up to no good for no other reason than that I wanted to get away and be left alone.
He should have left me alone. He shouldn’t have followed me, and he should have backed off when he sensed that something was wrong.
He was clearly not the kind of man to allow bad people in stolen cars full of stolen guns and drugs -- people with active warrants who are so high that reality and conscience were abstract concepts -- run around in his community unchecked.
Instead, he put himself in harm’s way, between a criminal and the people he swore to protect, which is between me and all of you.
And for that, I shot him. And I left him there to die.
There’s no worse tragedy, no worse crime and no worse person than the creature who is capable of doing something so brutal to a good man.
I do not deserve to live a long life in a place full of people who will praise and revere me as a cop killer.
I deserve what I gave him. He deserved better, but I do not.
Let me be clear, this is not a plea for my life or for my death. This is a plea for justice for Deputy Moyers and his family.
I’ve listened to the same witnesses, the same experts, the same evidence as all of you have, and I’m not convinced. Nothing I’ve heard in this courtroom mitigates the fact that I decided months before the shooting that I would never again make the mistake I made when I was arrested in Georgia -- in a van full of stolen guns and drugs again, mind you -- and let the police take me. That I would kill whoever tried if I had to. That I went around with this mindset all the time and followed through when it happened.
I decided I would kill him if he tried to take me to jail before I even got in the van at the gas station.
I lured him toward a dark, secluded area, and when he blue-lighted me, I kept going until I found a good spot. I kept the van in drive with my foot on the brake. I brass-checked my pistol before situating it in a concealed spot with quick, easy access.
I tried to lie my way to freedom. When that didn’t work and it became clear that he was going to try and take me, I shot him in the T-box and leaned out to dead-check him with two more well-aimed shots to his spinal column, and I left him there in the street, brain dead and bleeding, for his friends to find.
I never once considered his life at all. I just killed him to get away.
I want you to consider the message you’re sending to all the would-be cop killers like me out there and not to encourage the senseless killings of your protectors like this. Don’t show them that killing a cop is a viable option if they want to escape arrest with only the minimum penalty if caught.
If someone killed my stepdad, my brother and my friends who are cops in such a cold, selfish and callous way, I’d want them dead, and to hell with whatever excuses they presented to explain it away.
I can’t live with the thought of the murder I’ve committed being overshadowed by my life, my military service, my traumatic experiences or my drug use.
I don’t want to die, but why should what I want matter.
I let this trial go on because I thought maybe I could be convinced that I don’t deserve a harsh sentence, but I was wrong.
I gave my testimony and I listened to people comment that I’m remorseful, so I should be allowed to live and that sickens me.
Now it’s OK because I feel bad about it?
Make no mistake, I am sorry and I hate myself for what I did, but that’s simply not enough to outweigh the aggravators by any imaginable standard.
The Moyers family deserves justice. Ivy Carter deserves justice. Deputy Moyers himself and his fellow officers deserve justice.
I don’t want your mercy, and I definitely don’t deserve it.
I can’t take away the pain I’ve caused, but I can pay for it. So make me pay for it.
WATCH: Press play below to hear McDowell’s statement to the jury:
After McDowell’s testimony, the state made its closing arguments, and then court took a break for lunch.
“That conviction in his heart and in his mind that he encountered Deputy Moyers at that gas station. Deputy Moyers was just doing his job. He acknowledged him when he walked out the gas station. Tapped his breaks as he was getting ready to leave the parking lot. He already knows what he’s going to do. Per his own statements today he led Deputy Moyers to his death,” Prosecutor Mark Caliel said.
The prosecution said with the decision to shoot and kill Deputy Moyers – McDowell stopped being a marine and became a murderer. And the only sentence that could hold him accountable is death.
The defense began its closing arguments after the lunch break.
The jury was ultimately sent out to begin deliberations around 3:33 p.m. Thursday.
McDowell pleaded guilty to fatally shooting Nassau County Deputy Joshua Moyers during a 2021 traffic stop.
During eight days of testimony, jurors heard from the deputies who responded to the scene, the woman who was in the van with McDowell during the traffic stop, Moyers’ family, McDowell’s family, Marines who served with McDowell, former mentors, psychological experts -- and McDowell himself.
Following closing arguments, the jury will begin deliberations and must decide whether or not to recommend the death penalty for McDowell. Judge James Daniel decided earlier this month that Florida’s current death penalty recommendation rules would apply in the case, meaning prosecutors only need eight jurors to agree to recommend the death penalty.
McDowell pleaded guilty a little over a year ago to first-degree murder of a law enforcement officer, injuring a police dog and eight counts of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer.
The Sept. 23, 2021, fatal shooting during a traffic stop was captured on Moyers’ dash cam. Moyers, 29, died from his injuries on Sept. 26, 2021.
McDowell’s other charges stemmed from an encounter in the woods during a manhunt, which ended after five days when McDowell was found hiding out in a bathroom building at the Kirsten Higginbotham Sports Complex on Sept. 28, 2021.
‘Life or death’?
On Wednesday, McDowell’s defense attorneys wrapped up their effort to convince the jury not to recommend the death penalty for McDowell, and what McDowell said on the stand came up again.
His attorneys brought on an expert witness who said if McDowell hadn’t been on meth, he would have had a more reasonable response to Deputy Moyers, who McDowell himself said was polite and professional.
“He reacted as if it was this life-or-death situation. That can happen for folks with PTSD in circumstances that aren’t life or death due to these brain changes,” the expert said. “They can react as if things are in a life or death circumstance when sadly, such as this case, that wasn’t what was occurring.”
The prosecution said the only threat to McDowell was the threat of going to jail. The state’s rebuttal witness said McDowell never told him his PTSD impacted his decision to shoot Moyers.
“Mr. McDowell’s particular war zone experiences don’t include what we would call close-quarters combat. It used to be called hand-to-hand combat. But in other words, I didn’t feel that there was anything in that particular situation -- even when the deputy just reaches out and touches the door handle -- that would have particularly triggered PTSD responses,” the state’s witness said.
On cross, the expert told the defense he believes McDowell had PTSD but that it was the drug abuse that led to what he did that night, not the PTSD.
“As I said previously, I think it was stated very clearly on multiple occasions that he did not want to go back to jail,” the witness said.
The defense reminded the court that McDowell said himself he was not using the drugs or his mental illness as an excuse and owned up to the murder.
The jurors must now decide whether the threat of going back to jail or PTSD and drug abuse caused McDowell to shoot and kill Moyers.
‘That could be me’
This week, mentors of McDowell through the Veterans Treatment Court testified that they blame themselves for the downfall of the military veteran, who was once a model success story of the program.
Other witnesses spoke to McDowell’s mental health and documented Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, saying his use of drugs and his condition likely contributed to McDowell shooting and killing Moyers.
Several veterans testified that they know what McDowell was dealing with back in 2021 because they’ve been through it, too.
“This is difficult for me because I feel like that could be me sitting up there had I not made a different decision in life,” Daniel White said.
The prosecution said it was that decision that was the difference between White and McDowell.
A pharmacologist said he considered McDowell a high-volume meth user and said McDowell told him he was having irrational non-real thoughts about his surroundings and thought Deputy Moyers was out to get him before the traffic stop.
Psychiatrist Dr. Ryan Hall testified that PTSD can lead to drug abuse, and it’s often because people self-medicate.
Before the shooting, medical records show, McDowell went to the VA twice to get help.
“I think a large part of the drug use is related to PTSD. So as a mitigating factor, did his service to the country, did his service at [private military company] Triple Canopy influence or impact his state at that day? Yes,” Hall said.
‘I’ll never forgive myself’
Defense testimony began last week with McDowell himself taking the stand, saying he owed Moyers’ family an apology and an explanation.
“I took the life of a man that was better than me. I’ll never forgive myself for that,” McDowell said.
McDowell said he was a coward that day and that Moyers did his job so well that the deputy knew McDowell -- who was high on drugs at the time -- was up to no good with “one look.” He said Moyers was polite and friendly and nothing he did provoked his actions.
McDowell also apologized to the community for the fear he created during the five-day manhunt following Moyers’ shooting.
“My family is going to be dealing with the shame from this probably forever,” he said.
During the testimony, Moyers’ family members who were in attendance became emotional and during cross-examination, McDowell gave chilling insight into his thought process during the moments before and after he shot and killed Moyers.
McDowell’s testimony was followed by testimony from his family, including his father, mother, grandmother, grandfather, ex-wife and 13-year-old son.
RELATED: ‘My deepest regrets’: Father of man accused of shooting Nassau County deputy issues statement
McDowell’s ex-wife Shauna, the mother of his teenage son, testified that she saw the effect his tours in Iraq had on him and that she suspected before he killed Moyers that McDowell was using drugs.
Marines who served with McDowell all spoke highly of him as a smart, good person who was heavily relied upon.
‘Part of me is still there’
Before the state rested last week, jurors heard emotional testimony from members of Moyers’ family, including his fiancée, brother and mother about what it was like for them when Moyers died days after the shooting at the hospital.
A victim advocate read a powerful statement from Moyers’ fiancée, Ivy Carter, who said Moyers lived and breathed law enforcement and that she spent many nights not worrying about if something would happen, but when.
Now, Carter said, she is left praying and asking God to help her get over the hatred and honor his memory.
Moyers’ brother, Jordan, was visibly angry on the stand, and his testimony brought tears to some jurors’ eyes.
Jordan Moyers spoke about his profound grief and about how the loss affected more than his family.
“When Josh was murdered, this community lost a great cop, a civil servant who cared for people, for his community, and for making it a better place. I’m not the only one sharing in this loss. And when Josh was murdered, I lost my brother and it has torn every aspect of my life into shreds,” Jordan Moyers said. “I never left the hospital; I feel like a part of me is still there sometimes.”
Victim impact statements ended with Moyers’ mother, Brenda, who talked about their special bond and how he had so much more to live for.
“He deserved so much more,” she said. “It’s a horrible nightmare as parents as our child was brutally murdered while he protected the community he loved and called home.”
‘Officer down’
Prosecution testimony last week began with the jury being shown dash cam video of the Sept. 23, 2021, traffic stop off U.S. 301 that ended in Moyers’ murder -- as the first deputy on the scene testified about what he saw.
Deputy Barnes told the court it wasn’t common for Moyers to ask for assistance on these calls, which made him want to get to Moyers fast when he got the call for backup.
At one point, the deputy said, he was driving 136 mph just to get to Moyers -- almost like he knew something was wrong.
RELATED: Traffic stop to trauma scene: Desperate efforts to save Deputy Joshua Moyers revealed in reports
When he arrived, he found his friend and mentor lying on the ground, shot in the face.
Testimony from McDowell and Noelle Gale -- the woman in the van with McDowell -- and the video shown to jurors painted a vivid picture of what happened that night.
When Moyers tried to pull McDowell over after following him from a nearby gas station, McDowell told Gale he wasn’t going to stop.
“I’m not going to jail,” he told her.
But McDowell did eventually stop for Moyers, pulling off U.S. 301 onto Sandy Ford Road, and stopping just short of the railroad tracks.
McDowell said he gave Moyers a false name because he had warrants out for his arrest.
Gale said that when Moyers approached the van asking for their IDs, McDowell reached behind his seat for his handgun but then told Moyers there were no guns in the van when the deputy asked.
Moyers learned the tag on the burgundy-colored minivan belonged to a different vehicle, and investigators later learned the vehicle had been stolen from Jacksonville.
Right after McDowell handed over what Gale thought was an ID, the railroad crossing arms suddenly activated with bells ringing and lights flashing.
The video shows Moyers turn to look at the crossing arms for a split second, and when he turned back, McDowell had a gun in his face — and pulled the trigger, shooting Moyers just below his eye.
The video from Moyers’ dash cam shows McDowell quickly leaning out of the van and firing again at Moyers, hitting him in the back. Then he slams on the gas and speeds through the railroad crossing as the arms come down.
WATCH: Recording of Nassau County Deputy Joshua Moyers pulling over Patrick McDowell
Barnes arrived about 30 seconds later and found Moyers lying in the road. His frantic “Officer Down” down call can be heard on Moyers’ dash cam video.
The manhunt
When Gale testified last week, she repeated what she told investigators earlier.
“He thought the cop was calling for backup and didn’t want to go back to jail,” Gale said. “He said he was going to run from the cop.”
Gale testified that after McDowell shot the deputy and drove away, she told him she wanted out and he grabbed her by the arm, they ran into a wooded area, and she told him she wanted to go back. He let her go, and she called 911. McDowell ran the other way, sparking the five-day manhunt.
More than 200 local, state, and federal law enforcement officers searched for days for McDowell in the Nassau County woods.
Body camera video from Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office K-9 Chaos’ handler, Officer Dale Cullen, was also shown in court last week. The video shows K-9 Chaos picking up McDowell’s trail in the woods in the hours after the shooting.
Cullen lets Chaos go when he realizes the dog might have found something in the woods. And then Chaos starts barking.
“Two gunshots rang out. Heard Chaos yelp. Thinking Chaos’ been hit, and I returned fire -- 18 rounds to what I thought was gunshots coming toward me,” Cullen said.
Multiple officers joined Cullen and fired their rifles into the darkness.
This encounter is what led to McDowell’s injuring a police dog charge and the eight counts of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer.
The capture
McDowell’s friend, Brieana Tole, who tried to help McDowell escape capture, later pleaded guilty to being an accessory after the fact after she was accused of driving to the sports complex where McDowell was hiding out in an attempt to get him out of the area and escape arrest, according to an arrest report.
Despite the dozens of shots fired in the woods by law enforcement during the encounter with K-9 Chaos, when McDowell was found days later, he had only two minor flesh wounds.
In drone video of McDowell’s capture at the Kirsten Higginbotham Sports Complex off Ball Park Road, McDowell can be seen crawling out of a concession stand and then being subdued by K-9 Huk.
McDowell was treated for a dog bite wound and then transported to UF Health Jacksonville -- wearing Deputy Moyers’ handcuffs.