Experts say traumatic events, including Wednesday’s deadly school shooting in Minneapolis, can rewire a child’s developing brain even if they’re not directly impacted by it.
The way we parent can help children build resilience in even the most confusing times.
“When we talk about trauma, these are experiences that reach a higher level of stress, more like a chronic stress or a toxic stress level,” said Lacey Chavis, a psychologist at Tampa General Hospital.
And when that stress hits a developing brain, it can leave a lifelong mark.
“In childhood, what we see is disruption in brain development, particularly in the areas of our brain that control our emotion regulation, our executive functioning and our memory,” Chavis explained.
That means school trouble, mood swings, and health issues may be rooted in experiences years earlier.
“You would see difficulties with attention, difficulties with emotion regulation, probably learning difficulties in school,” Chavis told Ivanhoe.
And yes, even if a child is too young to remember the event, their body may never forget.
“Trauma leaves deep lasting marks on our brain and our bodies,” said Chavis.
But the good news? The same brain that can be hurt can also heal.
“The key aspects to parenting and creating that resilience are being attentive, being emotionally responsive and being consistent,” explained Chavis.
Stick to routines, ask open-ended questions, let children help make decisions and validate their emotions.
The goal? Empower children, not to avoid hard things, but to face them with support and confidence.
“Agency is the belief that you have the power to make your own choices and that those choices can influence change,” Chavis said.
Because when children feel capable, they grow stronger.
And remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. Even small changes, like sticking to bedtime or listening without judgment, can rebuild trust and resilience after trauma.