Setting boundaries is a critical part of a person’s well-being and experts say it can not only help you handle and reduce stress but can also lead to healthier relationships.
However, it’s not always easy to do, and sometimes it can be downright uncomfortable because saying no can be hard to do.
But experts say setting boundaries is not only good for mental health, it’s necessary because not having healthy boundaries isn’t good for anyone.
“It ends up really affecting your mental health. You might end up depleted, you might feel like your needs aren’t met,” said Jody Baumstein, a licensed therapist with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. “And it also takes a toll on the relationship, because it’s not a genuine connection.”
Baumstein said to set healthy boundaries, start by reflecting on your own needs and on your limits, and don’t compare yourself to others because we all have different needs and limits.
Next, align your actions with what’s right for you.
“So if you know, ‘OK, I need to set limits on how much I take on, because it affects my mood, my sleep, my interactions with my family,’ keep coming back to that why,” Baumstein said.
Baumstein said to communicate those boundaries clearly and assertively and be consistent. That will reinforce the lines you’ve drawn and help people understand that they’re there.
And finally, learn to say no.
“This is hard for a lot of us, but we want to remember that no can be a full sentence,” Baumstein said. “You don’t need to explain it; you don’t need to justify it. This is about protecting your own mental well-being and protecting relationships that you have with other people.”
Baumstein acknowledged that you might get pushback when you set a boundary, but she said not to let that make you think you’re doing the wrong thing.
She said to sit with that initial discomfort that’s natural to feel and understand that you don’t need to walk back your boundary to make someone else feel more comfortable.