Breakups, whether from a long-term relationship or a marriage, can knock even the strongest among us off center.
In Episode 5 of Split Happens, a podcast sponsored by Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite, hosts Katie Garner and board-certified marital and family law attorney Jay Henderlite sit down to talk about the emotional freefall that so often follows relationship loss—and the practical mental health tools that can bring you back to steady ground.
The Overwhelm Is Real—But Temporary
Katie and Jay remind listeners that breakups are universally painful, even for people who appear to “have it together.” Whether you’re eating chocolate by the handful or questioning your life choices from the couch, the emotional pile-up is normal—especially when uncertainty floods in. But as Jay stresses, the intensity you feel at the beginning is not how you will feel forever.
“Big picture—100% of the time, it gets better,” he says.
Before You Heal, Stop Doing These Things
We know the temptation: scrolling the ex’s Instagram stories, checking who they follow, or mentally trying to decode their new profile picture. According to Jay, resist the urge. Obsessive social media lurking only builds anxiety and keeps you trapped in their orbit. And revenge behaviors—like vandalizing someone’s property (yes, examples came up!)—don’t actually soothe heartbreak; they just create consequences you don’t need.
Therapy Isn’t Taboo—It’s a Tool
One of the biggest shifts in modern mental health is the universal acceptance of therapy. Both hosts highlight how helpful it is to talk things out with someone trained to help you untangle fear from reality.
“Sometimes just saying the thoughts in your head out loud takes their power away,” Jay explains.
Therapists can help you sort through the dread, clarify misconceptions, and separate facts from fear-based imagination.
Get Out of Your Head: Mindfulness, Movement & Meaning
Breakups have a way of locking you inside your thoughts. To counter that, the hosts suggest:
- Mindfulness & meditation – You don’t need to be a yogi; even one minute of breathing can center you.
- Exercise – A long walk, a bike ride, or even a few minutes of movement can produce endorphins and lift your mood.
- Acts of service – Focusing on someone else’s needs can break the cycle of rumination.
- Social connection – Reach out, talk it out, and let people support you. Venting helps—but don’t get stuck repeating the same story forever.
Katie shares a story about biking (far more miles than she wanted to) just to show up for a friend going through divorce. The ride wasn’t enjoyable, but the emotional release afterward mattered. Sometimes, movement opens space for clarity.
Write It Down: Your Brain Needs a Plan
Jay swears by a simple, underrated healing tool: writing down tiny, achievable goals. When you’re stuck in “analysis paralysis,” the act of creating a short list—and physically crossing things off—can rewire your brain toward a sense of control.
“It trains your mind to start getting back to ownership,” he says. Even goals as small as “go for a walk” or “journal for five minutes” matter.
Take It Hour by Hour If You Need To
Katie emphasizes that during the worst moments, you don’t need a five-year plan—or even a five-day plan. Sometimes survival looks like taking the day minute by minute. The key is compassion: for yourself, your process, and the time it takes to heal.
Self-Talk, Community & Spirituality Matter
Breakups challenge your sense of identity and worth. That’s where positive self-talk, spiritual grounding (if meaningful to you), and surrounding yourself with the right people come in. As Katie puts it:
“Your vibe is your tribe.” Supportive, grounded friends help you heal; repeated venting without action doesn’t.
You Are Going to Be Okay
The heart of this episode is reassurance. Jay reminds listeners that every person who thinks they won’t survive their breakup eventually discovers they can—and do. Healing isn’t linear, quick, or identical for everyone, but it is certain. The work you do today, even in small steps, moves you toward a renewed version of yourself.
And the first step?
“Reward yourself for showing up,” Jay says. “You’re here. You did it.”
Watch Episode 5 now on News4JAX.com or stream it on YouTube. For more updates, snippets, and future episode topics, follow along on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.
Sponsored by Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite, P.A., Family Law Attorneys in Jacksonville, Florida.
Helping families move forward—with compassion and clarity. This content is sponsored by Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite, P.A., a Jacksonville-based family law firm. The views and opinions expressed are those of the sponsor.