JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – Cindy Nobles always tried to make sure her children knew they were part of an inclusive and accepting household.
“I never wanted my kids to be the ones that pointed at someone and be like, ‘That’s a weirdo.’ I didn’t want that,” Nobles said.
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But when her son decided to tell her he was gay, she was surprised.
It wasn’t the “news” that caught her off guard; it was the fact that she could sense her son was scared to come out to her.
“It broke my heart that he was so scared to tell me that, especially when we had been such an open family, I was like, ‘I failed somewhere,’ because he was still afraid to tell me that,” Nobles said.
But when she looked at the statistics of how many people get cast out of their families after coming out, it all made sense.
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According to a 2023 study, nearly half of LGBTQ+ young adults are estranged from at least one family member, and one-third are “not confident” that their parent/guardian would accept them if they came out.
Nobles knew she wanted to do something to change that data.
“I literally couldn’t care less who my kids love, just so long as they’re treated well in a relationship,” Nobles said. “Who am I to dictate what their family is supposed to look like?”
Fast forward to today, Nobles is the president of the Jacksonville chapter of PFLAG, an organization that fosters family understanding and acceptance of LGBTQ+ people.
Nobles said she came across the organization six years ago, when she took her son to his first Pride celebration.
“I asked, ‘Who are you? What do you do?’ When they told me what the mission was -- to basically foster family acceptance for LGBTQ folks and to keep families together -- I said, ‘I love this. How can I help?’” Nobles recalled.
‘Jacksonville’s gay grandma’
PFLAG’s mission to support the LGBTQ+ community and their families started decades ago.
The organization was founded 52 years ago by a mom who accompanied her adult gay son to the Pride parade in New York City.
“Literally held up a sign that said, ‘I love my gay son.’ And she had so many of the participants in that Pride parade come up and hug her and tell her how much they wished that their parents had been accepting and been out there with them and whatnot,” Nobles said.
PFLAG quickly began to grow across the country, and eventually made its way to Jacksonville.
The Jacksonville chapter was founded in the early ’90s by Frieda Saraga, a loving mother of five children, three of whom are gay, who wanted to make sure the LGBTQ+ community felt safe and supported.
“She is an amazing woman. Funny enough, she’s actually known as Jacksonville’s gay grandma,” Nobles said.
‘Chosen family’
For more than 30 years, PFLAG Jacksonville has been working tirelessly to try to keep families together.
“When we can help keep a family together, that is always the goal. And if we can’t, then we try to be there for that person in every way that we possibly can, while still being there for the family. Because you never know when there’s going to be a door opened for you to try again,” Nobles said.
While Nobles knows no one can replace someone’s family, she also understands the importance of what she calls “chosen family.”
“No matter how hard we try, if we can’t help that person, it’s a hard moment. It’s a difficult thing to not be able to do that, but we also have the honor and we have the responsibility of showing up as that person’s chosen family if they’ll allow it,” Nobles said.
Over $575K in scholarships
One of PFLAG’s most notable programs is its scholarship program, through which the organization awards $2,000 for local full-time students and $1,000 to part-time students who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and are pursuing higher education.
“The money goes to the student, not the school, so it does not interfere with their FAFSA Pell Grants,” Nobles said. “Because, as as you know, when you fill out your FAFSA, a lot of these young adults if they have been kicked out of their family, and you don’t have parents willing to fill out their part of the FAFSA, then student loans aren’t even, aren’t even an option for you.”
By August of this year, Nobles said the organization is expected to achieve a milestone of over $575,000 in scholarships awarded since the program started in 1996, which represents about 1,500 students who have received a scholarship.
“It’s a huge program, and we spend a good amount of our time fundraising for this event, because we give away anywhere between 12 and 15 of these scholarships a year,” Nobles said.
‘Time to stand up’
Nobles said programs like this and organizations like PFLAG are more important now than ever due to the current political climate.
Since January, the organization has restarted its support meetings, specifically geared to help the trans community.
“We have scared families that are showing up and asking us, ‘What do we do?’ And we’re trying to help them as best we can. At the moment, our support meetings really are not centered on family togetherness,” Nobles said. “Our support meetings are really centered on ‘Help me, help my trans loved one get through the next four years.’”
At the end of the day, PFLAG is working hard to be a voice that stands up for members of the LGBTQ+ community and their rights, and Nobles encouraged others to do the same.
“Now is the time to stand up. The community needs to see the support,” Nobles said.
Nobles said some of the ways people can help include donating, attending events and meetings, and sending letters to lawmakers.
“These laws are not helping anybody. They are extremely harmful. If you don’t agree with them, please make those calls and send those emails, because they’re not going to back off this community unless public pressure makes them,” Nobles said.
If you’d like to learn more about PFLAG’s history, scholarship application dates and all the ways people can help, visit this website.